From where we left!

Human relationships are difficult to interpret. As I strongly believe, there is nothing right or wrong. Everything can be right and everything can be wrong at the same time. It’s a matter of interpretation. Eventually I have realized that it is very difficult to give a name to a relationship. In fact the best way is to not give any name at all. Just let it be and rest is taken care of.

My childhood friend and I share such unique bond. Today I met here after many months and it just felt the same when we were together. Over last 30 years, we shared few journeys together and few we were on our own. No matter where we were, life brought us back together time and again. Every time we met, every time we felt that nothing has changed – it’s still the same, only more experiences added to our memory banks.

Likewise, I met a friend three years back. Every time we met I thought that this was our last meeting. Here on we will never meet again. Our paths are so different that they will never cross each other but life surprised me each time. We met time and again. Each time felt like the previous time. As if nothing has changed. Only more fond memories to cherish.

It is said that when life brings you back again and again at the same spot, which means that life wants you to take something out of it before you move on to the next stop. Sometimes I feel very lucky to have such marvelous people in my life. Talking to them is like looking in a mirror. Just one of me!

No matter how many times we may fight, disagree, agree, share stupid things and laugh at stupid mistakes, we may not call or talk that often – but when we meet, it’s still the same from where we had left.

Jini

Just like that!

It feels really good to be back on the blog, pouring my soul out in its purest form. Randomly putting the creations and the juggles of mind into words is a task that makes me content.

Someone rightly said that – ‘Don’t judge the other person with your life’s lenses. You do not know what battle he or she is fighting within.’ It’s true that the toughest battle is the one that we fight within and not without. It won’t let us eat, sleep and laugh peacefully.

Off late I am struggling to convince myself on what is surrender in true sense?  I always thought that surrender in any relationship means – to create space and openness to live life in its original form, to live without fear of being judge, to be in the feeling without any expectation and where one is allowed to have difference of opinion but that does not put differences in relationships.

Why is it that most human relations comes with its own do’s and don’t – “where you are expected to behave in a certain manner. If you don’t, you are not one of them”. One silly point of view suddenly makes you the bad cop and you are out of the circle!

Life is full of experience – some good experiences and some not so good ones. And in the process, the journey – we meet whole new bunch of people – all with different background and thought processes. That’s what makes the journey more enjoyable.

Somewhere along the way, we miss the essence. We start comparing and judging everything and everyone around us.  It baffles me how most of us – the human race likes to judge everything materialistically and need based. For e.g. at every stage of our life, we meet new people and make new friends. Why can’t we call our old friends or loved ones – just like that – without any need? Why do we never hesitate to ‘kill it’ – the old ties because we now have no more to gain from them and forget about what all we received in past?

I hope my fears don’t prove right. I hope that there still is lot of humanity and character left in us. I hope that we stop judging everything and open up to whole new possibilities.

Best,

Jini

Unfinished Business

Last few weeks were highly challenging and mentally exhausting. The feeling was somewhat similar to when one is holding the aces and still one has to fold the game :) . All I did was kept watching the storm with my eyes wide open, mind and soul fully conscious that whatever is happening is out of my control. I kept assuring myself that - This shall pass!

Sometimes i feel our lives are so similar to a game of cards. There is no assurance of the kind of hand one gets and yet we have to make the best move out of the cards thrown to us.

In midst of everything, I completely missed on the recent news of the Malaysia Airlines' plane crash. I read it sometime back and feel terrible for the families who lost their loved ones. It only made me feel how our life is so special and so much more worth. I have heard so many philosophers and successful people say that 'the moment to do is now'. I guess this is so true for all the 298 people travelling in that plane. I cant stop thinking that what if those passengers had some unfinished business such as debt to return, apply for that perfect holiday in office and finally pack bags and live the dream, buy one's parents that perfect home, confess one's love to that special person for one last time, call it a truce with one's enemy, forgive, forget as it is time to move on! The mere thought of it numbs my mind. I so hope and pray that there be no unfinished business and  hope they had enough time to fulfill their wishes before they took off in that plane.

May their soul rest in peace.

Prayers,
Jini

The Missing Red!

Today while returning to Mumbai from Delhi, I arrived an hour and a half early of my scheduled time of departure. As usual the T3 airport in Delhi was buzzing in its full glory. I surfed through few shops and bought some stuff here and there and then finally decided to proceed to the boarding gate and wait for the gates to open. On the way, for the first time I noticed the ‘prayer room’. I was intrigued to go inside and instantly felt to go pay my gratitude for the fruitful trip that I had.  It was a very instinctive move. The peace and silence of the room was profound. Luckily there was no one in the room so I got my private moment to connect with the energy in the room. The room had just one wooden table and a huge glass window. The outside view was a typical airport scene with aircrafts moving here and there, ramp staff working and servicing the metal, take offs, landing, passengers boarding, handsome captains chit chatting and lively crew ready to service their next flight.

The whole view brought back some amazing memories from the past. My association with Kingfisher Airlines is one of the most enriching experiences and one that I will cherish forever. The unfortunate demise of the airline is absolutely tragic considering that the airline was a work of passion - nurtured with lot of compassion and love, by the entire team of the airline. At one point, when Kingfisher was a shining star, we took so much pride seeing our airline standing in the midst of the runway madness. The Bird, the red metal, the well groomed crew in red uniform - symbolized our airline. Everything was done in style and with lot of attention to detail. Sometimes when people asked me that why did we continue to work when airline didn't have any fund to pay our salaries? The answer was simple – it was not some XYZ person’s airline. It was a piece of work designed and nurtured by us. Leaving Kingfisher was one of the toughest decision of my life and done when there was no other option at hand. The feeling can be considered synonymous to - a painter, who creates his master piece and for some reason if he is asked to sell it because he incurred a cost in making it that he couldn't afford in the first place, the artist will feel bad for giving up his masterpiece and not for the debt he incurred.

In my experience (specifically in India), I am yet to see a service brand that is as matured, as energetic, as glamorous and as professional with equally high standards. Excellent ‘Guest Service’ was the only mission and for which we took lot of pride in. There is no doubt that while we – the kingfisher-ians lost our beloved airline, India also lost one of its iconic brand, which had proved its worth in foreign lands. Airports in India are incomplete without Kingfisher.

We miss you Kingfisher!

Love,

Jini

Keepers of the Flame

I am writing this post with lots of mixed feelings yet with very clear thought. This post is dedicated to those whom I call 'Keepers of the Flame' - People who believe in love which is unconditional and comes with no fine prints, asterisks or check list. It is pure and divine. 

I was watching this famous Shahrukh Khan movie today - Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna and one of the sequences was very interesting. In the movie, Maya was getting married to her childhood friend, who she didn't love but they were great friends. Maya asks Dev a minute before her wedding whether she should get married or wait for the right person to arrive in her life. Dev advises her to get married and skip the idea to wait. And then Maya pops another question - What if I find my love after marriage? And Dev responds - 'Don’t try to find, because if you try to find it then you may get it'. For those who have not seen the movie, eventually Maya finds her true love years after her marriage :)

Of course any random wait without any assurance is way too risky and most people do not like to risk their life based on such fairy tale emotions. So they go with their brain and take the decision to choose from what is available. One of my dearest friends put it as ‘Stuff at hand’ :) !!!

Every person has the right to form their own philosophy and there is actually no right or wrong theory when it comes to love. I might sound too bollywoodish but I am a strong believer that there is someone special out there for each one of us and it is just a matter of time when that special person arrives in our life. I have seen and met so many people who have actually waited years and years for that right person and that right moment and they actually met. They simply kept the flame alive.

The sheer imagination of meeting such person, who may not be the ideal human being and comes with their own flaws and unique qualities itself gives me goose bumps. How thrilling that moment can be when one actually encounters such person!

It feels like an ultimate victory to meet someone who can make you happy despite all odds and asks nothing in return. Someone with whom you are always yourself – no pretense, no trying hard – just yourself. Someone who accepts you the way you are – sometimes cranky, idiotic, lovable, smart, stupid, arrogant or naïve and where you are allowed to make as many mistakes without the need to give one thousand different explanations or fear of being judged. When you look into that person’s eyes, you can just see through the soul and there is a strong connect. In whose company, you simply forget your mental checklist of how your ideal partner should be and rather you start loving their flaws and can’t live without it. Even if that person is not around, you can still feel him/her around and still miss their jibber jabber. It sounds like a fairy tale description but still. 

Life is so unpredictable – someone may just enter subtly and the next minute your life will be positively upside down :)

Cheers to all those who have waited and found and to all those who are waiting – Keep the flame alive.

Love,

Jini

A Classic Paradox

I watched a video from Oprah Winfrey months back on 'Surrender'. It was a small clip from her master class sessions in which she spoke about her life story and the importance of surrender. She said - 'When you have done as much, given all your best, prayed, hoped, begged, bargained and there is nothing more left to do, simply surrender!'. She also elaborated her story when she auditioned for Color Purple and was dejected by the agents before she received a call from Stevens Spielberg himself. 

No matter how much we hate to surrender , we still encounter such situations and often feel helpless. Though earlier, i used to think that surrender is a sign of weakness but not any more. It is not always a sign of weakness. Sometimes it is a sign of strength as we show courage to let things go. And once we let go our most important wish/possession/dream and move on, I don't see any other loss that can ever matter to us so much. 

Being human beings, letting go is never easy. The temporary void is really what makes it difficult. I can say that confidently because after months and months of hard work, now when finally i am done with all the ground work to pursue my dream, the waiting part is very difficult. The anxiety, the excitement, the nervousness of the end result is what i can feel now :)

People like me, who are really persistent and hung on one thing, letting go is never that easy. Of course, we learn to move on eventually but giving up is just not our thing! It is very difficult to figure out the tipping point. I would say it is a classic paradox - whether to keep on trying and trying till we achieve our dreams or decide a point to stop and to move on. Honestly, I haven't been able to figure out a right answer for myself so far. Despite so much introspection, am unable to pick between 'Persistence' and 'Surrender'. The most important unanswered questions are - Why am i doing all this? What am i going to achieve eventually? Even if i realize my dream, only ego will be satisfied while the soul will still remain indifferent. And if i don't try and stay inactive, I feel purposeless.  

Wish I had the answer to these questions!

- Jini

Within ME

Few months back, I participated in a candle light protest against the verdict of the Delhi Rape Case, wherein one of the guilty was proved juvenile and he was sentenced to 3 years in the Juvenile School. I am sure most of us do not agree to this verdict, but this is the irony of the Law & Order, which does allow exceptional twists and turns in the name of section number a, b or c and bylaws number x, y or z. While there is lot of work required to improvise the way Law & Order is at public’s disposal today (and there is always a hope to a new beginning and changes), there are lot of things in our hands as ‘citizens of India’ that can be instantly done to make a difference.

Women harassment is still a very sensitive subject in our country and one that probably requires an immediate attention. While there are few cases in which the victim and her family do come out in public to fight for the justice, most cases do not see the light of the day. They are buried, not only by the system but also by the victims. Why is that we fear to fight for the justice? Why is that we still think this subject as a big "taboo" to even discuss open and out in public gatherings or a coffee table discussion at home? Why is that women are still considered weaker than men? And why is that most young girls are demanded to remain docile or naive else they are considered too bold and out of control? Don't these questions deserve an answer – something that each one of us should ask ourselves in our deepest conscious? There is no point blaming the system, law & order or the opposite sex for brutality unless we have done our bits. There is a lot that one can do – at least an effort to bring tiny little change is all that is required.  For e.g. teach our sons that they are no powerful than any female and teach our daughters to never feel weaker than any male in the face of this earth, accept no exception – even if that means to take a stand against our own family member, teach self defense in schools or via public workshops, have access to an instant helpline number, teach kids - how to interpret wrong intent from other person, be vigilant of the surroundings - not just for our own family members, but also for our neighborhood, change our mindset to treat the victims with respect and consider them equals, offer psychological help to the victims to overcome the trauma, give them opportunity to live life all over again and lot more. There are small steps that one can take to create a difference. The list is endless.

It only requires one brick at a time to create the wall!

- Jini

You can also log any sexual harassment incidents on www.safecity.in  

Life on that hill...

Life on that hill.. there.. far far away
Lets bring it together
Pieces of our soul
Lost somewhere on our way

We passed so many roads
Leaving behind our shadow
Lets bring it all together
There.. far far away

When I look up the sky
Its the same moon wherever I go
Walking with me like a happy companion
Never do I feel your absence
Come with me my little stars..there.. far far away

The wind dances to the rhythm of my walk
The light brightens as I keep going on
Few things we lose, few things we gain
As we keep going on..there.. up there.. far far away

Past roads never come back, lost fragrance never unite
Gained is never lost, lost is never gained
Memories bring us tears and smiles
Lets bring it all together
There... up the hill.. far far away

Love,
Jini

Whatever will be, will be!

When I saw this huge mountain, I was scared.
Despite that i wanted to climb the peak and look at the view.
I could not take a step and then a voice came from inside - Move on.. Climb.
It was a whisper, yet loud enough to shake my soul.
Heart is fearless, only mind dwells into games of thoughts..
Heart says - Whatever will be, will be. Keep moving.

-  Jini