The Illusion

Success never felt so illusionary and so tangible at the same time. In the hunt to achieve the success, it almost felt like an endless run. As if there is and there will not be an end, no salvation and that running itself is The Destiny I am looking for.

In the journey, I criss-crossed various roads, struggled, tumbled but kept running. I passed so many important junctures – some were delightful and some were lessons. Running almost became addictive and a habit in its own form. I left behind so many things. Someone rightly said, the journey to the top is almost always lonely.

I would lie if I say that I never feared. I was dreading within. Questioning almost every other step – but one thing that remained constant was that I never stopped. At times I looked back, almost ready to take a return, yearning to go back not knowing why I would want that after coming this far. A voice so profound within me said “Don’t stop, keep going”. I once made a promise to myself – “Let’s go. You don’t know as yet how will you get there but you will end up good.” And I started without knowing the means with just one faith that I will do something good for myself.

Now that I am here, it took a while to understand that it is what I really wanted. What I learned from my experiences is that when success or destiny is round the corner, one dreads to actually face it. Because once you do that, there aint a goal to run for immediately. It created an imbalance for a while till I figured to enjoy this vacuum and live in this moment. It is blissful!

It is an illusionary bitch.

Love,

Jini